Abra Cadabra

Any single gal in New York is used to smooth talkers. The last thing anybody hopes to encounter during a night on the town is a man who’ll use all his charming stories and fancy tricks to make a fool of you. Unless, of course, the man playing tricks is Magician Eric DeCamps. Having spent last Wednesday night being charmed and deceived by The Society of American Magicians’

award-winning Magician of the Year, I speak from experience.

After recently watching The Prestige, starring the delicious Christian Bale, I looked forward to an evening of illusion – the illusion being that I was Scarlett Johansson, called upon to fill the role of the beautiful and charming volunteer who disappears into thin air before the eyes of the audience. To ensure that was the case, I took a seat as close to the front row as possible. All said and done, that’s not quite how it played out… but close enough.

The show was billed “An Evening of Intimate Magic,” and intimate it was. Held in a room seating about 35 people at the old world (read: stuck-up) 3 West Club on West 51st Street, there was no room for smoke machines or invisible wires. DeCamps could only rely on the sheer skill that has made him the second person in 105 years to receive the prestigious Gold Medal of Excellence for Close Up Magic to amaze and delight us.

Upon entering the room, DeCamps instantly grabbed everyone’s attention by answering an age-old question: “Can you make money?” One after another, he made silver dollars appear, disappear and seemingly transport from one location to another, all while making sure we could each see that there was nothing up his sleeves, literally. Wives glared at their husbands as if to say, “Why can’t you pull money out of the air?” as DeCamps enchanted us with majestic stories and kept us laughing with his quick wit.

I perked up in my chair when DeCamps scanned the audience for a volunteer – it was the moment I’d been waiting for! His finger pointed in my direction, and I knew my moment was coming until he said, “You Sir, would you mind coming up here and helping me out?” He was speaking to, of all people, my boyfriend. Like an Oscar nominee whose name isn’t called, I shrunk back in my chair. Timidly, and with only an ounce of the strut I would’ve employed, my other half made his way the front of the room to be Mr. DeCamp’s “lovely assistant.”

For the next five minutes, my man assisted the magician as he made a fragile egg appear and reappear in a magic pocket. Even from such close proximity, neither a trap door nor blatant misdirection could be detected. Finally my boyfriend made his way back to his seat, and we sat and watched in amazement as the magic man finished his 80-minute show.

Even in this rough and tumble city, it turns out all it takes is a little magic to turn even the most hardened New Yorker into a kid again – if only for an hour. Now the only thing I’m left wondering is whether I can actually pull off wearing a top hat as a chic new accessory for Sunday brunch.

Dream Date for the Pair Annoyed

May 7th, 2007 by Jane Marie

Try as I might to avoid Coupledoom, at times I find myself suffering from the nasty side effects of a long-term relationship. These include—but are not limited to—large, unsightly butt imprints in my couch cushions, overdoses of Chinese take-out and a hefty cable bill from renting too many movies On Demand. Not one to be held down, I often make it my mission to ensure that being one half of a pair doesn’t leave my favorite sex-kitten stilettos lying in my closet collecting dust.

When I recently set out to plan a date night for my other half and me, I wanted to find the perfect middleground between nights spent on the couch watching bad TV and nights that end with me stumbling past the doorman at 4 a.m. with a bag of McDonalds in hand. After polling my crew of NYC foodies and scouring the Internet, I decided that dinner would be at the new East Village eatery Degustation. Next to buying my first pair of Choos, this was perhaps the best decision I have made in my entire adult life.

Degustation is tiny. It seats only 19 patrons at a time around an open kitchen where Chef Wesley Genovart and his crew of three to four sous chefs work their magic. Reservations are a must, and I recommend arriving a little early. However, even if you are forced to wait a while, it is worth it—and, odds are, the owner will hook you up with a glass or two of one of the spot’s spectacular wines.

Once you take your seat, the server (yep, Degustation only has one) greets you. In what should be chaos, she manages to maintain an air of complete and utter relaxation, expertly guiding diners through each dish, its particular nuances and an uncannily perfect personalized wine selection. Each and every selection on Degustation’s tasting menu is like a small piece of performance art borne of Genovart’s serene touch. The small servings dance a lively waltz upon entering the mouth. My faves: the potato croquetas and the absolutely divine lamb loin. By the time the ahort rib-stuffed squid hits the table, you will truly think you’ve died and gone to heaven. I, for one, have vowed to return again and again until I work my way through the entire menu. For those trying to save a few bones for drinks later in the evening, Degustation offers a ridiculously reasonable prix fixe of five courses plus dessert that runs $50 and easily satisfies two people.

More than two hours passed as we sat and enjoyed our meal. When it was time to leave, I felt as relaxed as if I had just had a hot stone massage. Yes, it’s that good. To continue this perfect night, we tipsily tippy-toed a few blocks over to Veniero’s Bakery for dessert. Veniero’s is famous for rich desserts, coffee cocktails and a late-night crowd. Those who arrive past 11 p.m. will likely encounter a long line, but it moves quickly. And, once you dig in to your first forkful of chocolate chip cheesecake, the rest of the world melts away.

Another 45 minutes and a few clanks from our Irish Coffees, my boyfriend and I left Veniero’s. I don’t know if it was the wine or the food that left us so giddy, but we practically skipped all the way home. Perhaps it was just the sheer joy that comes with one of those perfect NYC nights. Either way, somewhere shortly after midnight we floated off to dreamland listening to the sounds of the city, happy that we had neither spent another night indoors nor let an entire evening pass us by in a haze of loud music and vodka. Sometimes it just doesn’t get any better than good wine, a great meal and a slice of old fashioned New York Cheesecake.

Degustation
239 E 5th St
New York, NY 10003
Phone: (212) 979-1012

Venieros
342 E 11th St
New York, NY 10003
Phone: (212) 674-7070

Degustation Image taken by Noah Kalina from Eater.com

What's New?

Well, we have a lot to discuss don't we?! Let's start with the apartment. She Says and I successfully moved into our new place last Friday and it's coming along great! There are still some boxes around and lots of work is yet to be done, but it's coming along nicely and we're really loving our new home.

Hopefully this weekend we'll have time to hit up the Container Store and get some much needed organizational stuff....fun stuff!

Now for the update on oneTee. We've been pretty busy with the move obviously, so we haven't had time to do much, but we are proud to announce that we have a few designs up on our site. you can check out our main page here at CafePress.com/oneTee to see what we've done so far and of course to purchase your own oneTee shirt!

Let the girls know that you're not a nice Jewish Boy with this Naughty Jewish Boy t shirt design from oneTee. And if you see a girl wearing a Naughty Jewish Girl shirt, you know it's a perfect match.









Attract the boys you want with this Naughty Jewish Girl t shirt design from oneTee...because not every Jewish girl is a NICE Jewish Girl. With this tee you can tell the world just how naughty you are








The only people who talk about inner beauty are ugly people. Are you ugly? I didn't think so. Start to change the world's view of inner beauty with this Fuck Inner Beauty t shirt design by oneTee.
This shirt can be found at CafePress.com/fuckinnerbeauty







We hope you like our first three designs and we promise to have more soon!

2 more days until we move!

So, we're still scheduled to move on Friday, and we're probably not as prepared as we should be. We've done some packing here and there, but there's still plenty to do. Good thing She Says is taking off Thursday.

To add to the stressfulness (is that a word?) of moving, I hurt my knee last week and am walking around like a gimp. There are 90 year old women zipping by me on the street and it's very imasculating. I've had an xray and just went for an MRI yesterday, so hopefully there's nothing terribly wrong with me.

Point is, I'm streesed, She Says is stressed....moving is stressful! I'm going to feel better on Friday after we've moved our stuff in and after the cable guy is done installing our cable and internet. Although, even after we're moved in, there's still so much to do. We need airconditioners, a microwave, storage pieces....I'm just going to stop there because I'm stressing myself out even more.

Moving Company

Can someone recommend a moving company please? Thanks!

Glamourite.com

I mentioned last week that my wonderful girlfriend was writing for a website called PrettyBoring.com, and now her first post is up on another website called Glamourite.com. Make sure to check out the site and leave wonderful comments!

New Apartment Update

We went to check out the apartment last night because we just wanted to check it out again before signing the lease. I took some pictures that you can check out here. As you can see, the apartment's being renovated so we have no clue what it'll look like when they're done lol.

I went to the bank this morning to pick up bank checks to include with the signed lease...so...I guess it's really happening! Found out we need to pay the first month and one month security up front, not so bad. It's a lot of money, but it could have been worse. Our lease starts April 23, which means that we'll be overlapping 1 week and paying 2 rents for that one week. Doesn't sound bad until you look at the actual numbers....living in NYC is freaking expensive.

So, now the stressful part of packing, shopping, and all that other fun stuff begins....like finding an apartment wasn't stressful enough lol. Wish us luck!

One T Says...Check Out Pretty Boring.com

For those of you who aren't aware (which is probably most people), She Says (aka The Girlfriend) is back writing for a great website called PrettyBoring.com. Make sure to check out the site and leave comments on her articles. Go She Says!

One T Says...The Mango

Last weekend when we decided to ditch the broker and take things into our own hands, we saw a one bedroom in a nice building right around the block called The Mango. Well, we harrassed the leasing agent, got an application, and found out yesterday that our application was approved.

In case you're not fully understanding what this means....I think we found a place! I'm not going to be definitive until the lease is signed, and even then I probably won't believe it until we're moved in, but the application was approved and the lease is being sent to us. Congrats to us!

The application process was a little scary though. I talked to people who have bought houses and their mortgage application process wasn't this intense, and they're borrowing hundreds of thousands of dollars! We had to fill out some paperwork, include references, tax returns, letters of employment, a letter from our landlord, pay stubs, bank statements...it was just insane. For a whole day we didn't hear back from the leasing agent and we were convinced that she had stolen our identities and we'd never hear from her again. Obviously that didn't happen, but with the amount of info we had to send her, the thought definitely crossed our minds.

Now the process begins of packing, finding movers, buying new stuff, decorating, etc, and as stressful as that sounds, I'm pretty excited about doing all of it. At the least, the packing will make us finally go thru all of the shit we've accumulated and maybe we'll finally throw some shit out. We'll probably donate all those extra clothes that we always say we're going to donate but that are still sitting in the closet.

Wish us luck and we'll keep you updated along the way...if anyone is actually reading this.

One T Says...I'm Freaking Exhausted

2 Days in a row now, I've spent about 4 hours walking around Manhattan walking into every building I pass asking if they have rentals available. Some advice for others out there? Don't use a broker...this has been so much more effective (but insanely tiring). We saw 2 apartments yesterday that we really love so tomorrow morning we're going to harrass the leasing agents so that we can try to land one of these apartments. One of the worst things about searching for an apartment in NYC is that even when you find one, there are a bunch of other people who want the same apartment. Not fun.

So, wish us luck because tomorrow morning we'll be making our phone calls and I just hope that by tomorrow afternoon we can report that we have a new apartment.

One T Says...3/30/07

We're going to see an apartment tonight...could this be the one?! Looks great in the pictures but I just got off the phone with the broker and now it sounds smaller than it looks in the pictures. We'll keep you updated and let you know what happens.

We're also planning on hitting the pavement tomorrow. Going out and just going into every building we see to see if there are availabilities. We've heard that it's a great way to get it done so we're gonna give it a try! Wish us luck :)

She Says...Brokers DO Suck

A few additional comments about this pain-in-the-balls experience:

1. There is a reason the broker didn't say a word - He didn't speak English and/or was mentally handicapped (all kidding aside). Seriously, I think the only actual communication we had with him was when he waved to us from across the street. Well, that and when I HELD THE DOOR, for this MAN. Way to close the deal buddy.

2. One good thing did happen and that is; I think I found a new gay bestie. The building manager was fabulous, flamboyant and rolled his eyes when One T started gabbing about his Gigantic (get your mind out of the gutter) TV. I totally should have gotten his number.

Hunting for an NYC apartment on a budget truly is one of the most frustrating experiences in the world...and we've only seen one so far. In true princess style, I've pretty much already given up. Soon I will resort to sulking, crying, whining and shouting things like, "We might as well move to Iowa! We're never going to find a place!" At least I can wear my tiara when I do this.

One T Says...Brokers Suck Ass

So, the girlfriend and I just both left work to check out an apartment that sounded too good to be true. And guess what?! It was!

We were told that we were seeing an alcove studio in a luxury building for $1900 a month. Sounds great! We get there and stop in to the manager's office...good thing. There are no alcove studios! Of course. So, we get up to leave, but luckly the manager was really nice and told us that they actually have jr 1 bedrooms for 2300. NOW we're talking.

The manager takes us up to see the apartment, and at this point, Mr. 15% broker hasn't said a word and is just following us around. We don't really have to pay this guy if we take this apartment do we?! Well, it was a pretty old building, but nice. Fitness center (aka, gym), doorman, good stuff so far. The apartment itself was pretty nice. Only downfall was the kitchen, and it was enough of a downfall for us to not even consider the place. This apartment had what's called a kitchenette...aka, a tiny stove against the wall, a mini fridge and no counter space. I think not....how is the girlfriend gonna cook me dinner there?!

So, we finally saw our first place...didn't work out so great but at least we saw something and now we're on our way :) We'll keep you updated.

One T Says...Apt hunting in New York Sucks

This has got to be the worst experience of my entire life. In case you have never experienced first hand what it's like apartment hunting in New York City, please, allow me to explain...

1) You can't start looking until a month before you have to move. If you start looking too early, you won't find anything so it's pointless. So, it's now a month before you have to move, and you're stressed because you don't even know where you're going to be living yet! You have to bring your checkbook to any apartment you see because if you don't grab it, someone else will. You can't check out a few places because if you decide that you want the first place you saw, it'll be gone already. SO STRESSFUL

2) I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but living in NYC is really freaking expensive. You can't find a studio for less than $2,000 a month (studios are typically giant rooms, about 500 sq ft). We're looking for alcove studios or one bedrooms (because there's two of us) and finding something for less than $2400 a month is nearly impossible.

3) No Fee Apartments. Everyone wants them, but they're nearly impossible to come by. Some say they're just a myth and don't actually even exist. Renting a no fee apartment means that you're renting directly from the management company or owner of the apartment and thus, you're avoiding paying a broker's fee. What's a typical broker's fee you ask? Usually between 9-15% of the yearly rent. Now you know why everyone is looking for no fee apartments?

4) Up Front Costs. Typically, when you move in you have to pay the 1st month's rent, last month's rent, security deposit, and possibly a broker's fee (obviously these costs vary but this scenario is typical). So, let's assume that the broker fee is at the high end, 15%, and the security deposit is at the high end, 1.5 month's rent. Let's also assume that the apartment is $2500 a month. So, if you want to rent this apartment, you have to pay $13,250 up front. Like paying $2500 a month isn't enough. If you look at the low end, 9% fee and one month security, you're still looking at $10,200. Freaking insane

So, you can see why searching for an apartment could be the worst experience ever. So bad that I'd consider moving to New Jersey? Hm, well, maybe not THAT bad.

That's why we're proud to announce that we're now accepting donations to the "Help Mathew and Jane Move" fund. Your tax deductible donation will go toward our move and help us land a great apartment in New York City. If you donate, we'll even send personalized pictures of the new apartment once we move in! So, click the button below to make a donation now!

She Says...3/27/07

This has nothing to do with anything, but after watching that documentary on Crosswords, I decided I should start doing them. After all, I have tested as having an IQ that is categorized as genius. So added the "Daily Crossword" to my Google home page and I am DAMN good. I'm able to fully complete them, with no mistakes, in no time.

I'm thinking to myself, "I guess I still am a genius."

Wrong.

Turns out these Google crosswords are ridiculously easy. I tried to do a real crossword and got maybe 5 answers.

This still won't deter me from continuing to tell people I'm a "Real Genius." It just doesn't help my case.

She Says....03 26 07_Part Duex

Re: my earlier post.

I spent a good two hours of my company's time setting up this blog and posting. When I finished, One T went in and revamped the whole thing. Changed the passwords and everything. All that after this IM from him today:

Mxxhxx Jxyzn (1:37:14 PM): i say you go with whatever you think is best i trust you partner

He even used a smiley face!

No sir... You are not always right. I just let you think you are.

(note: IM names have been changed to protect certain boyfriends from bombardment by other "right" women like myself)

One T Says.... 03 26 07

She can write all the long posts she wants...when it comes down to it, there's one rule and only one rule. I'm always right.

Thank you for reading

She Says.... 03 26 07

So we're starting a blog, a business and looking for a new place to live in NYC and I'm dumbfounded that we have yet to get into a massive fight about any of the above. Don't worry, we've gotten in fights about other important things like the fact that he wouldn't jump on board with my latest idea to quit our jobs and move to a remote island somewhere for a year. Clearly he's stifling my wild spirit. He says we need to build wealth. I say we need to build happiness. I'm pissed that at 27 years old I'm rational enough to realize that we need to build both and am settling into a compromise. He snickers when he sees how "mature" I've become.

The Move: For the last year and a half we've lived in the lap of luxury thanks to a thoughtful relative. Unfortunately, like Sands through the Hour Glass, our time has run out and we need to find a place we can actually afford. I'm guessing that means no more 24 hour staff of attentive doormen, rooftop pool and free gym smack dab in the middle of NYC. Last time we moved I ended up handing him the reigns because I was scared. I did this by leaving him standing in the middle of Bed, Bath and Beyond holding a shower curtain and other assorted items while I went outside to have a full fledged panic attack. A year and a half later we're embarking upon new team efforts...go figure.

The Business: I'm mentally preparing for the first fight. In fact, my arsenal is ready to go. I'm all set to say things like, "You're Not Letting ME contribute!" and "This is supposed to be OUR business, not YOUR business that you let me help out with!". And honestly, I can't wait to stomp my foot, pout and say, "I'm not a Child!" Unfortunately, thus far, he's been pretty open and fair. He wants me to get super involved and has been respectful of my ideas. Then again, we're still in the planning stages. We'll see what happens Saturday when we have our first technical class. Don't worry, I'm preparing a few zingers for the moment he tells me to "listen."


The Blog: Five minutes ago, I intended to write something along the lines of "I can't believe he's let me take control of the blog." I planned on going on to talk about how he really let me set up the profile and was really happy with my ideas. I was even thinking how this whole post was going to make me sound like a melodramatic princess and him like Mr. Maturity. Luckily for me, one minute ago, he checked out the page and told me to take down our picture cuz he didn't want it up there. My chest tightened and that sweet familiar feeling of having been wronged and irritated because of it came rushing over me. I took 5 to 50 deep breaths and let it go. I pick and choose my battles carefully. That is to say I choose to pick the one's I know I can win with some witty and cutting comment.



Side Note: It really bothers me that he hasn't shown insane jealousy over the fact that two out of three of the "soup men" in the place I get my lunch have all but professed their undying love for me. One of them even asked me out on a date and I bring it up to him at least once a day. Annoying.